Christmas - When To End The Santa Myth
Kids love Santa. Christmas time without Santa for a child is like milk without chocolate chip cookies. There is no question that Saint Nick is a magical person and a big part of the Christmas season for little children. But the day is going to come when your kid is going to grow up and the question about Santa being real or not is going to come up, hopefully anyway. But if it doesn’t, when do you tell your child that there is no Santa Claus? The debates on how to handle this will go on until the end of time. We’re not going to try to give a definitive answer but hopefully guide you in the right direction based on the progress your child makes in adapting to life itself.
There is no question that when a child is young there should be no discussion of the subject if the child is perfectly happy and thrilled with Santa being a part of Christmas. There will be some parents who feel that a child needs to be told right away that Santa isn’t real. Obviously, this article isn’t addressing them. It’s the parents who aren’t sure what to do; these are the ones we need to address. For them, let your child be a child until you start to see that he or she is growing up. Don’t worry, you’ll know.
Some children are very intuitive and will figure out on their own that Santa is not real. They may come right out and say it one year when you’re putting the cookies out on the table the night before. Something like, “Is daddy going to get up in the middle of the night and eat the cookies again?” may come out of your child’s mouth and you’ll know. In that case the problem has taken care of itself. No need to ask your child when he or she figured it out. The point is, the myth has been destroyed and it’s time to move on.
The next easiest case to take care of is if the child approaches you and flat out asks you if Santa Claus is real. This may have been brought up by the child’s friends bringing the subject up and maybe laughing about Santa Claus not being real. If the child asks and appears to be indifferent about the reply, then by all means tell him the truth straight out. If there is a little bit of hesitation, then it’s time for a gentle discussion. Maybe point out that Santa is actually a symbol for generosity and kindness. You can even tell about the real story of the original Santa Claus and how he came to be. This will help to soften the blow.
But what about the child who approaches an age where he or she is growing up and yet seems to still believe that Santa Claus is real? How long do you wait? At what age do you sit down with your child and explain that Santa Claus is not a real person? This is a very delicate area and the situation must be handled gently. The last thing you want to do is traumatize the child. As a parent, you know your child better than anyone. If you watch for certain signs you’ll know when to bring up the subject. If you’re unsure, consult with a therapist. Ask him or her what to do. You will probably get a number of good suggestions on how to handle the situation.
There is no right or wrong way to handle this as every child is different. But be at ease about one thing. It is probably very rare that a child becomes permanently traumatized by finding out that there is no real Santa Claus.
Michael Russell
Your Independent guide to Christmas
